couples counselling & sex therapy
Something has shifted between you.
You've tried everything you know to reconnect.
Let's understand what's getting in the way of hearing each other.
You don't have to agree on who's right to find your way back to each other. When couples feel disconnected, conversations often become attempts to prove, defend, explain, or protect.
Both people end up feeling unheard, even while both are trying desperately to be understood.
I work with couples to slow these patterns down, understand what is happening beneath the conflict, and create the kind of conversations where both people can feel seen.
-
The same fight keeps happening, and neither of you can stop it
-
One of you has had an affair and you don't know if you can come back from it
-
The intimacy (emotional or physical) has gone quiet
-
You want to build something stronger before small problems become big ones
-
You love each other but can't seem to reach each other
What brings couples to therapy?
-
Something happened and you need help to process it together
-
You feel more like roommates than partners
-
You've tried talking about it yourselves and keep ending up at the same place
-
You're approaching a big transition - a move, an empty nest, retirement
-
Sex has become a source of tension, avoidance, or disconnection
Most couples aren't arguing because they don't care.
They're arguing because they care deeply, and neither person feels heard.
When both people begin to feel understood, the conversation changes.
I help couples move from trying to be heard to learning how to truly hear each other.
When communication feels impossible
Almost all couples list communication as one of their primary reasons for coming to therapy. Conversations have become painful. Small disagreements turn into big arguments. One person keeps trying to explain while the other person shuts down. More often than not, both people leave the conversation feeling unheard. They're right, the communication isn't working.
But the question I become curious about is why. Communication isn't just about finding the right words. It's about what happens inside each of you while those words are being spoken.
When we feel criticized, dismissed, misunderstood, or alone, it becomes much harder to stay open. We become defensive. We explain ourselves over and over. We withdraw. We stop listening because we're working so hard to be heard ourselves.
That's when communication begins to break down. What I've found is that most couples aren't arguing because they don't care. They're arguing because they care deeply and neither person feels understood.
My role isn't simply to teach communication skills. It's to help you understand what's happening beneath the conversation - what each of you is protecting, longing for, and trying to communicate. As that understanding grows, something begins to shift.
The conversations you've been trying so hard to have finally become possible.
And almost without realizing it, you begin communicating differently. Not because you've memorized a new technique, but because you're no longer talking from opposite sides of the same hurt.
How I Work With Couples
More than anything, I think of myself as a translator. Most couples I see are actually arguing the same thing - they just can't hear each other through the noise of the pattern. My job is to help you hear what your partner is actually saying, and to help them hear you.
I'm not a therapist who sits back and lets things unfold. I'll interrupt when i need to. I'll redirect when you're spinning. I'll name what I'm seeing in the room when it might be useful. My goal is for both of you to feel equally held, understood, and supported throughout the process.
I'm not afraid of escalation, of depth, or of the conversations couples are most scared to have. If sex is part of what's not working, or part of what's missing, we can go there. I can hold all of it.
Many couples arrive feeling like their partner is the problem. That's understandable. When we're hurt, we naturally focus on what our partner is doing that hurts us. In therapy, we won't ignore those hurts. But we'll also look at the patterns between you that keep the hurt going, because that is where change becomes possible.
Modalities I Draw From
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
One of the most researched approaches to couples work. EFT helps partners understand the emotional patterns driving their conflict and build more secure attachment.
The Developmental Model
A framework for understanding where a relationship is in its growth - and what it needs at each stage. Particularly useful for couples who feel stuck or like they've grown apart.
Sex Therapy
Integrated, shame-free, and tailored to you. Whether you're navigating mismatched desire, intimacy avoidance, or something more specific, this is a safe place to talk about it.